Watch Out World

Have you ever thought, or had a feeling, that you were not living up to the greatest potential of who you were meant to be? I have periodically examined my life and concluded at different times that I was not achieving my greatest potential. Of course, this feeling of inadequacy was heightened when 'Living Your Best Life' became a catch phrase. Everyone around me seemed to be confident that they were living their best life and fulfilling their purpose. Furthermore, I find that the comparison trap also intensifies this feeling of inadequacy. 

Comparison can be a killer or creator. We compare ourselves to others, we compare our partners to other partners, and we even compare our children to each other. Comparison can drive people to their greatest heights of achievement and success, or cause a descent into depression. 

Social Media certainly does not help with this issue. We all post the most glamourous shots of ourselves, places we have been, and things we have done. We check that photo twice before we hit share. I am certainly guilty of it. I am yet to post a picture of myself in my hair bonnet, without make up and in my yard clothes. However, I digress. 

There were times when I was not confident in who I was, or felt that my life was purposeful. Why was I on this earth? I have undoubtedly had several existential crises points throughout my life. I have also had my share of confidence boosters when major life events occurred. I completed my post graduate studies, got married, became a mother, advanced professionally, and even acquired certain material things, which are generally considered in society to be measures of success.

It still did not seem to be enough, nor was I feeling great about my life. It is not that I did not love my life or was ungrateful. I felt that I was destined to contribute more, yet I did not know what that contribution was.

Everywhere you look today there is a book, a program, a slogan or something drawing you to discover and live your purpose. To be frank, I got sick of all these guides because I could not figure out what mine was. I really thought I was the only one struggling with this.  

I remember talking to my mother about this issue. My mother, who is my greatest role model, told me then, that my purpose was whatever I was good at and felt great about. 

"You are a great friend, you are a caring person, you take care of those you love and you have amazing relationships", she said, "Don’t you think that is what your purpose could be? Being who you are to the people around you?" she asked rhetorically. 

That was one time I did not listen to my mother. I shrugged it off thinking she was just trying to make me feel better. I did not think that displaying characteristics of who I felt I was naturally could be one's purpose in life. But could it? 

After reading many self-help books, listening to podcasts, doing meditation and having some great reflection and prayer, the light bulb went off. My mother was right. I had been living my purpose for a very long time, I just did not know it.

I realized I was looking at things from a very complex angle when in fact it was quite simple. My initial ideations of living a purposeful life was that it had to be grand in action and obvious to everyone. 

I have since learned however, that achieving a fulfilled life means bringing out what is in the innermost part of me.  It is about using my character and traits to impact others in a positive way, to make not only myself, but others, feel good.

It also means giving to those who are not as fortunate as me, serving in my church community, while loving and caring for my family and friends in many ways. Identifying that I was already living my purpose suddenly made me great in my life.

Since I had established my purpose, now what were my possibilities?

I had never believed in making New Year's resolutions. I have tried making a few over the years, but quickly realized that my conviction and discipline were not strong enough to sustain me for the year. 

In fact, in many instances, I do not think I lasted two months with whatever I had set out to do. I consider myself fairly disciplined. While I do occasionally procrastinate with work I do not particularly enjoy doing, overall, I get things done. 

One poignant and memorable sermon preached by a guest speaker earlier this year at my church was titled, 'Delayed but not Denied'. Pastor Lyle Notice essentially confirmed for me that I could still accomplish any dream I have had for years but had not yet attained. 

In his message he explained that once the enemy sees that you are on the brink of a breakthrough with your dreams, his first instinct is to erect roadblocks to prevent you from accomplishing them.  This is one of the main reasons why some people are usually afraid to try new things. However, instead of giving up, Pastor Lyle suggested that all we need sometimes is at least one person to identify with our vision to help us achieve our dreams. Enter Shanique.

Shanique became a co-conspirator to the dream I had of doing a blog. I had previously researched the process and thought about what I wanted to say, but I never started it. I feared failure. 

It has been well established that mistakes and failure are acceptable and that they build courage and character. Mistakes are good because when we make them our brain registers what not to do. Failure is not about making mistakes, instead, it is the act of surrendering after your mistakes. Sometimes it takes a few tries to get it right. 

I will not allow failure to hold me back from achieving my dream. I may make mistakes but I will embrace them on the path to success. I am declaring it out loud, Watch Out World!  The year 2020 is the year I choose to be courageous. I will pursue my dreams and all the possibilities that lie within them.

~ Tam ~