Beauty for Ashes - Pt 2

 "Hello may I speak with Shanique?"

"This is Shanique, may I ask who is speaking?"

The person identified himself as a Seventh Day Adventist Pastor of a well-known church in Toronto. Imagine my shock; here I was in my Easter day service not knowing why he was calling. I wasn’t Adventist and had no intentions of leaving my church thus his call took me by surprise. One week prior to this I had walked away from a relationship where I had started seeing unhealthy signs. In this person’s desperate attempt to reconcile, he started reaching out to everyone for help. One such person was a friend who attended an Adventist church with this associate pastor. 

The pastor explained to me that he wanted to support this individual as he seemed devastated by my decision. He went on to state that he wanted to gain clarity on the situation. Needless to say, in speaking with him the lies that this person told at the beginning and throughout the relationship came to the surface. I was shocked; I kept thinking to myself how this person would quote scriptures often and carried himself as a perfect Christian yet still his entire life was a lie. 

The beauty, however, that came from the ashes of this relationship was not only the confirmation from this pastor that I did the right thing by walking away, but he remained in contact with me and selflessly prayed and studied with me every day for six months. The Lord says in his word He will give us beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness. My spirit of heaviness was replaced with joy the moment I trusted God and submitted myself to His word. 

In the midst of this taking place, I too was in search of a mentorship Christian program for my son. A close friend of mine spoke with me about the Adventurer’s program at her church that she thought would be a good fit based on the foundation and principles of the program. I remembered asking her, “do I have to be Adventist?” Here I was still stubborn in my thinking but not knowing what God was doing in the spiritual realm. 

We started attending the Adventurer's program and I felt I made the right decision. King was happy and made friends. I could see the spiritual benefits of the program. I continued attending my church but at some point, I can’t specifically say when, I felt a conviction that I needed to leave my home church and make this new church my place of worship. “But why God? I am not Adventist.” I wrestled with God and this decision for months. I even left the church and started attending other Adventist churches as I wanted to find the right fit. Somehow God brought me back to Kanisa Fellowship. 

I didn’t know what to expect; all I knew was that I needed to trust God. Things started making sense and all the pieces started coming together. God has and continues to use me to minister to women in the capacity of women’s ministry leader. I take great pleasure in this role as women’s ministry is sensitive to my heart. I also found love, not the type that pretends to be perfect but the love that’s transparent and consistent and provides me with a sense of safety and security. 

Finding beauty oftentimes requires taking risks and going outside of the norm. I had to take a risk and do something outside of what I was used to. God never told us this life would be easy but He promises to comfort us when we are in pain and to give us beauty for ashes.

~Shan~