Being A Helpmate - Shan’s Take

 

“But for Adam no suitable helper could be found. So, the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep, and while he was sleeping, He took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib He had taken out of the man and brought her to the man.” Genesis 2: 18-22

Being a helpmate requires me as a wife to submit completely to God so that in turn I can love my husband selflessly and be a helpmate to him. God knew that man would be lonely and needed support, thus He created woman. The role of a man and a woman is different and as such both bring something unique to the relationship. My role as a helpmate entails several things which I will speak to separately.

I have a calling to pray for my husband and my children. Being a helpmate means me praying for his heart, his attitude, his physical and emotional health, and that he will be a Godly leader and father in our home. My husband and I started our relationship on prayer and continued praying with each other during our courtship. I however find time individually to petition God on his behalf. Prayer is important and it sets the tone in one’s home.

In addition, I can be a helpmate by supporting my husband with his dreams. Individually things can be accomplished but collectively it is so powerful. This also requires an act of selflessness. His likes and my likes are different, however as his rib, it is crucial for me to work as a team with him, likewise him with me in achieving things.

During premarital counseling, we spoke on love languages and how men and women show emotions. I had to laugh as one of the questions that was done by a group of men in a survey came back indicating that most men value a home where they could get a good home cooked meal, a good-looking woman and a woman who could meet their sexual desires. The women’s responses generated more deeper conversations such as words of affirmation, comfort, and support. One would look at this and think men are so shallow! However, they are actually very simple, and the fact is men and women are different.

Sex is a major aspect in a marriage and as helpmates to each other both husbands and wives need to be open about sexual needs and desires so as to be able to fulfill each other in the way that Christ would want. Yes God needs to be in the midst of intimacy as he is the third cord and as such intimacy requires vulnerability and vulnerability will only come if both individuals are rooted in Christ.

I will end by speaking on encouraging my husband. I think sometimes we take for granted that because they are men, they may not need to hear words of affirmation, but they actually do. As helpmates, wives, partners we need to speak life into and encourage them. During a conversation a few weeks ago with my spiritual brother who is actually my son’s barber, he told me that if my husband does something wrong that I should not complain to everybody, but take it to God. He said God loves me and has trusted this man with my heart, thus if he hurts me, he has to answer to God. I will drop the mic right there! Women speak life into your man and don’t fight in the flesh, fight on your knees as you be a helpmate to him.

~Shan~