Creating Memories - Tam’s Take

 

There are so many things I remember from my childhood. Everyday simple things that were a part of the picture of my life. I remember the Croton plant on the verandah of my childhood home, and the first dog my family had, a huge black German Shepherd named Flip.

I also remember quite fondly the days I ran reckless outside with my neighbours, who I considered my sisters and brothers.  I played dandy shandy, cricket and doll house with dolls made from soda bottles and grass for the hair. Children programs on Television came on for 1 hour weekdays between 4:00 and 5:00 p.m. and Saturday mornings between 9:00 a.m. and 12:00 p.m. This was when the only TV station we had in the island started their broadcast on weekdays at 4:00 p.m. and ran only for 12 hours at a time before signing off.

There was no Internet, no video games, no tablet or computer, at least I did not have them. The only tablets we knew were the ones you took for a headache or other ailments.

The other memories I have are of times where my parents were intentional about creating bonds with me. My father took me to his semi-professional football (soccer) matches when he played, just the two of us, without my mother. My mother took me on outings to the country where I was exposed to the people, places and things that influenced her upbringing. 

While some of those memories were intentionally influenced and formed, others weren’t. In a conversation with my mother recently, she reminded me that while we didn’t have much as a family as I was growing up, life was much simpler then. I agree wholeheartedly. These memories were created out of the simplicity of our lives when distractions were limited.

On the other hand, in today's world where the attention span of individuals are merely seconds, where social media and the Internet are the primary sources of connection, I have found that I have to be deliberate with my own children in creating childhood memories for them.

Some of you may have seen me on Tik Tok, Instagram or even on my WhatsApp Status doing things with my children you might consider ridiculous for my age. However, in a time when the world is consumed by fear, grief and uncertainty, when our social interactions are primarily through a screen, I have two things that keep me going every day:  My Love for God and my Love for my family. 

I consciously try to etch this time in the memories of my children in a positive way. I don’t want them to remember that it was horrible that we could not see our family and friends.  I want them to remember that we spent some amazing moments together learning more about each other and building a tighter bond as a family. As I strive to be happy in my present state, I want my family to also be happy.

I read somewhere recently that our memories are not only about our past, but they also impact our present and more importantly, our future actions.  The world did not stand still when I was a child, throwing everything I knew about leading a normal life out of whack. However, it is standing still in the lifetime of my own children and everything they knew to be normal prior to a year ago is no longer so. 

Should our new normal once again become abnormal in my children’s lifetime, I would prefer that they look around and pay close attention to what is most important and right in front of them, rather than to think about what they cannot do or have. I would hope that this will cause them to be hyper focused on their family and friends.  So, I create memories for them today. 

Focusing on making pleasant memories will positively impact your present state of mind. If you think about the memories that you have created with the people in your lives, how would that translate into how they recount their relationship with you? How would they remember you? Would your relationship be described as a strong healthy bond? What are the ingredients in your happiness potion for you right now? 

Create memories friends, wonderful ones, be silly, laugh at yourself and live your life not recounting moments lost, but ones which tell a positive story.

  ~Tam~