Shan and Tam... Sisters Breaking Barriers

I must admit, writing on this topic was particularly difficult for me as I have so many thoughts on what the concept of making room in my life means. Making room for Shanique means anything that I do that brings me joy. I work in a profession that emphasizes self-care and highlights the impacts of compassion fatigue. I have found that in consistently doing for others, though I preach it, I usually end up neglecting myself and my needs.  There are days I feel like the famous energizer bunny because of life and the many responsibilities I have that just keep me going and going and going. Life caught up with me and I started losing my hair. After several specialist appointments I was told I had Alopecia Areata. There are many causes for this condition, but most notably one’s lifestyle and diet can also significantly contribute to its existence. Some may think it is only hair, but for me, losing my hair felt like losing a significant part of me. I have prayed about it, cried ab...

On October 24, 2017, my life changed. There I was sitting in my car at a red traffic light when I heard a loud bang and felt myself jolt forward simultaneously. I looked around to identify where the sound came from and through my rear-view mirror, I saw a heavy- duty truck that was basically in the back seat of my minivan. The back windows of my vehicle were shattered and the body twisted. I never saw, or heard, anything coming when I got hit. The truck, which was pulling a trailer of work equipment and tools, and driven by an apparent distracted young man, crashed into my vehicle without braking. The young man told me he had not seen the red light nor that I had stopped in front of him. The resulting effects of the accident were even more devastating than I initially thought. While I was able to walk away from it, my injuries - physically, mentally and emotionally - disabled me for many subsequent months. It has been two and a half years since the accident and I still ha...

"Push mom!" "I can’t, I’m tired!" "You must push as the baby’s heart rate is dropping." In a nutshell this is parenting. Parents push through life, feeling exhausted at times, but we continue to push nonetheless to maintain the hearts of our children. I pushed, I cried, I screamed, I prayed; after fourteen hours King was born. My body was numb, and my thoughts were racing. I felt an overwhelming rush of emotions as I wondered how I would ever be able to do this on my own. I yearned for the validation of one person at that moment, but instead was told,  “You didn’t push King out properly”. This statement crushed me, and I suddenly realized that I was going to be parenting on my own. Women having children outside of wedlock sometimes feel a sense of shame and embarrassment. For me this was the case; I felt low because I had wanted more for myself and my son when he was born. In that moment however, I was determined not to be placed in the category ...

Raising children is not for the faint of heart. Very much like marriage, we do not openly talk about the adversities of parenting. With my three children, ages 18, 12 and 8 years old, with whom I have been blessed, I have experienced some pride filled joyous moments, and notably, there have been some overwhelming lows. To begin, I had no idea that my three children would turn out so differently from each other. You might be thinking, that makes no sense, because the core of being human is that we are all unique. This simple fact eluded me when it came to parenting. My eldest daughter has always been a focussed and calm child who seemed to do many things effortlessly. When I became pregnant with my son, I was not scared. In fact, I was confident and felt that I was prepared. I had created a template with my daughter and I just needed to follow the established modus operandi, or so I thought. My son ran, not walked, at 10 months old. Fast forward two years to pre-school...