Shan and Tam... Sisters Breaking Barriers

  This post is dedicated to Glenda Miller – my mother, my role model, a humanitarian, and warrior for her family and the children of this world. As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace. - 1 Peter 4:10   There are many life lessons that can be learned from a mother. One of the most important lessons that I have been taught by my own mom is that of service. Serving your community and fellow human beings, in whatever capacity you can, provides you one of the greatest opportunities to serve God.   About 25 years ago I saw my mother join an internationally founded service organization, The Kiwanis Club. Being in my early adult years and possessing very self-absorbed tendencies, I couldn’t understand her desire to give up so much of her time and energy doing one project after another. Weekdays, weeknights, weekends, and even holidays, she would attend meetings or participate in multiple projects. All with one go...

"Santa Claus, do you ever come to the ghetto?” “Santa Claus, do you ever wonder why we suffer so?”   As children, we would always hear my mother singing this popular Jamaican song by Carlene Davis. It was one of her favourites.   Our reality was that Santa Claus did not visit us in the ghetto. Instead of the joy associated with this fictional character, we grew up seeing people dying on our streets.   Let me give you a glimpse into my life growing up in Jamaica. My family lived in a community called 'Jungle' which was located in Trench Town, St. Andrew. There, many young boys would turn to gang violence, many girls became impregnated at a young age, while domestic violence and blaring gunshots were the norm.           Regularly, we would awake in the mornings to hear about another man or woman who had been gunned down. This was our life, and in making the best of our situation we normalized the dysfunction around us.  Yet, I have...

  Leaving everything and everyone you know, love and you are familiar with after 25 years of your life is not an easy decision. Yet I, like many others, made that conscious and deliberate decision to leave my country of birth, Jamaica, and move to an unfamiliar country. Prior to this, I had only visited Canada once as a teenager. Some people are often puzzled as to why a person would choose to leave behind their family and friends, their home, job, and their independence and level of comfort for an unknown situation that could produce very negative results. However in the words of Jim Rohn, "If you are not willing to risk the unusual, you will have to settle for the ordinary." I had completed post-secondary studies, lived on my own and was working in management positions and excelling in my career, before moving to Canada.  “Why did you come?” is the first question I was asked when people heard my story.  The truth is, I came for many of the same reasons oth...

  "Hello may I speak with Shanique?" "This is Shanique, may I ask who is speaking?" The person identified himself as a Seventh Day Adventist Pastor of a well-known church in Toronto. Imagine my  shock;  here I was in my Easter day service  not knowing why  he  was calling.  I wasn’t Adventist and had no intentions of leaving my church thus his call took me by surprise.  One week prior to this I had walked away from  a relationship where I had started  seeing  unhealthy signs. In this person’s desperate attempt to  reconcile,  he started reaching out to everyone for help . One  such  person was  a friend who attended an Adventist church with this associate pastor.  The pastor  explained  to me that  he  wanted to support this  individual  as  he  seemed devastated by my decision .  He  went on to state that he wanted to gain clarity  on the situation...

What are your Ashes made of? My ashes consist of failed relationships mixed with pain from the grief of passed loved ones. I have ashes from not knowing why I lost relationships with friends and family members. And even more ashes because of the multiple and complex feelings that resulted from significant life events. Included in these ashes is disappointment about things I wanted to do and expected to happen but which never materialized. I have always believed that inherently I am a good person. However, I have not always done good things. I have made many mistakes since I have been on this earth. So, as much as I have been hurt, I am sure I have caused hurt which means that my ashes also contain guilt, shame and remorse. I can also admit, that in the past, my sense of self-worth was closely tied to many circumstances that I have gone through, and so my ashes also contain periods of uncertainty about whether I was good enough, forgiving enough, generous enough and even, if I was worth...

  No one said life would be easy. In fact, we are bombarded daily with trials and circumstances that impact us on varying levels. When I reflect on my journey, I have had to fight for the things that mean the most to me.   I have  had to fight for my family, my relationship, to establish myself in this country, and for my son. I do all of this by being consistent on my knees and petitioning to God.   My undergraduate years were some of the most difficult years of my life. I was working two jobs, in school full-time while being a single parent. My nights were occupied with studying and during the days I would be working or caring for King. It was tough but I kept pushing as I knew I had to complete my studies. I was not only doing this for me but for my son. I posted a particular scripture around the house, in my books and wherever possible I could see, “Jesus looked at them and said, with man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible”, Matthew 19:26...

This post is dedicated to Paulette Evadney Jackson, an empress and nature lover, warrior woman, mother, sister, and friend. Your friendship, love, and spirit of determination will reside in my heart forever. This post was a particularly difficult one for me to even begin to write. I knew I needed to revisit some of the deepest and darkest valleys that I had traversed in my life, and the journey to do so seemed really daunting. Thinking about how I came out of those valleys reminded me once again that there are hilltops, even pinnacles of mountains, in our lives to be conquered. For me, I am determinedly climbing. This journey is a continuous one and admittedly, I am excited about the new things that I continue to discover daily about myself and about the people and the things in my life.   I cannot think of many people I know who have not been touched by grief. In fact, we probably have all lost someone or something. Whether it is a child who has lost his or her fav...